Once upon a time
Once upon a time, there was a kingdom inside my mind; full of castles, taverns and farms – mills, blacksmiths, stables and shops. There where forest filled with trees, fields of grass and gardens filled with flowers – all separated by twisty footpaths, and swift streams. The land was populated by ladies, squires, knights, and what else if not.
It truly exists, right there, inside my mind. And most curious things seem to happen. Although; a lot of curious things don’t happen either. For instance, I’ve never seen two bears making sandwiches, nor have I ever seen somebody from Hillock eat with manners.
Monday morning. I’m walking across the main square of Fifontania. It’s well deserted; only a few people are to be seen. The sun rises atop the buildings, as it flickers in my eyes.
‘Tap, tap, tap’. It’s the sound my shoes make, the flickering of my soles against the stone bricks, as my feet alternate eachother in a rather rapid pace. I squeeze my eyes together, to block some sunlight, before closing them altogether.
Nothing, is what I see, as I walk towards the middle of the square. I open my eyes again, before I close them once more. All this time, I’m walking forward. Actually, this whole tale, is spend walking.
I see nothing. ‘Tap, tap, tap’, my feet go. I wonder if I’m still walking in a straight line. And at the same time, I wonder how long I dare to keep my eyes closed. The seconds seem long. I’m walking blind here. ‘Would anyone see me?’ I’m no longer walking the square; I’m moving into the void.
I made a deal with my own bravery; five more seconds, walking blind.
‘Tap, tap, tap’. Four more seconds. ‘I’m sure I’ll alright’, I think to myself. Three more seconds. ‘What if I walk into somebody, or something?’ Two more seconds. ‘Tap, tap’. One more second! ‘Soon!’, I think.
Open, my eyes go. I look around, and there’s nobody near, and I realise I’m in the middle of the square;
A kiss on the nose
I noticed her legs first. Long and slender. I moved closer, and kissed her on the nose. Nice horse.
‘Sit!’, yelled the woman next to me, who was waiting, just like me, for the bridge over the Sliroop would lower, so we could pass.
‘Are you talking to me?’, I asked.
‘Oh,’ she stammered, ‘I thought I had brought my dog with me.’
I looked at her in surprise, as the bridge was almost down. I pressed my hat and looked at her from beneath the brim;
‘Wraf!’ I barked, and walked away smiling.
The legend of a duck named Bob
‘I’ll tell you who’s a real character’, said Nuvolari. His eyes shimmered in the darkness of his foxhole, and the cubs around him pricked up their ears, to hear what would come next.
‘Bob!’, bellowed Nuvolari, as he bursted out laughing; ‘Today, he flew right into the money carriage. BAM! Dead! Oh boy, never a dull moment with that guy.’
I have a little house, on the countryside. Small, but with a very large view. From here, I can actually see that the earth is indeed round, as the horizon bends down on both ends.
My house is on the far edge of the village Rake. Actually, all buildings in Rake are on the edge of the village. There’s another house, a farm and two mills.
They say it’s the smallest hamlet in the Kingdom, but that depends on how you look at it. From here, you can look tremendously far around you. I can see the tips of the trees in Westwest and the towers of Fifontania, and when the weather is clear, I can look all the way towards Hillock. From here, I can see more of the world then anywhere else. And that is why I think this village is bigger than the city. For you see, I’m not merely as big as I am, I’m as big as how much I see.
A runner and a swimmer
‘Look mate’, said the runner; ‘I don’t want to talk you out of swimming, but isn’t swimming a super dull sport?’
‘For swimming’, said the swimmer; ‘I just imagine being chased by a shark. And I think running is super boring, unless you mean running on hands of course.’
I’m here in my windowsill
from three floors high
looking down upon the world
with the window open
I ponder about leaning towards my left
I’d crash down
hit the pavement
would I break my leg
or my neck
end up in a wheelchair?
I don’t know
but I can’t stop thinking about it
everything would change
that possibility is offered to me
I remain seated in my windowsill.
‘How much do you love me?
‘Not much, but please do follow. The crocodile that protects my harem needs food.’
In today’s news
A peculiar article in the newspaper today. It seems that the Royal Army of the Kingdom had fired their inventor, for doing his job a bit too well. You see, he created an army of camouflaged catapults, but upon creation, they where completely lost and he could not find them again.