To the Hai

I’m about to leave the familiar and by-now slightly comfortable church of KesselsKramer, as well as the safety net of having colleagues way more experienced (and in many ways more talented) than me. ‘Why am I doing this to myself?’, I’m asking. Throughout my four years at art academy, I didn’t dare to dream to work at KesselsKramer, and now that I’m here, I’m leaving within two years. I love it in the chapel; my colleagues; the work we make; the fact I’ve came to grips and found my way; how I’m still learning every day. Yet inside of me is this cauldron of desire, begging for more; a new experience; a different challenge. When that opportunity arrived, I took it — and so in three weeks I’ll be flying to Shanghai — and in four weeks I’ll be starting as a strategist at Seventy Agency. I’m sad to leave KesselsKramer, but I’ve learned that you can only have half the things you desperately want from life.

I’m most looking forward to throw most of my existing conventions out of the window, and starting anew with a blank canvas. Change is hard, but I think we still choose it because having no change is even harder. Going to Shanghai is like my summer of 2001, when I left my hometown of Hattem to go to high school in the big city of Zwolle. The proportions of Amsterdam and Shanghai feel the same. Going to Zwolle was humbling, intimidating, alienating, but energising at the same time. This feels like doing that all over again.

Latest

Half a Jin, Eight Liang

Half a Jin, Eight Liang

Learning Chinese, or any language, makes you more aware of language in general. And one thing that surprised me is that, despite Mandarin being so different from my mother tongue (Dutch), both languages reach for the same units when weighing things: the kilogram (公斤, gōngjīn) and the half-kilogram (斤, jīn). It’s a small thing, but […]
June 24, 2026
Cake and Timepieces

Cake and Timepieces

There are multiple ways to define Shanghai. There’s the more modern version, with beautiful lanes full of expensive yoga studios or artisan coffee shops, lined with the London Plane Tree (法国梧桐) and the Wukang Mansion (武康大楼), and renovated parks like the North Bund (北外滩) and West Bund (西岸). There’s also the Shanghai as the international […]
June 23, 2026
A candle in Minnesota

A candle in Minnesota

It’s Wednesday morning, and I’m in Saint Paul, Minnesota, attending the morning mass at St. Bernard’s church. It’s about twenty years since I last attended a mass, and the first time I’ve ever done so voluntarily. I’m sure I’m drawn to this church near my Airbnb, compelled to go in, but I find it hard […]
June 14, 2026
Revisiting Columbine

Revisiting Columbine

Growing up in the Netherlands, it’s not immediately obvious (even to myself) that the history of the United States is also partly mine, but through TV series and movies — as well as the news — it’s also a country I lived in and grew up in. And unlike presidential elections or the September 11th […]
June 8, 2026