This series is called ‘Secret Listening’, from the Chinese word 偷听Tōutīng. I know this can be — and should probably be — translated as ‘eavesdropping’, but secret listening captures it better and adds a bit of jest. These little stories or remarks stood out to me, and show a more personal side of China away from the news. I have sometimes changed names or used the anonymous moniker ‘friend’.
Read all parts in this series here.
We’re talking about learning Mandarin among foreigners:
Friend A: “So… what is happiness?
Friend B (thinking very hard): “I think it is, … hmm, ….well…., how to say…”
Friend A: “Not philosophically! I mean what’s the Chinese word for it?”
Friend: “When my brother was born, there was still the rule that each family could only have one child. So my parents were fined 10.000 RMB, which was a lot of money in the early 90s! So in our village, even today, my brother’s nickname is 一万元 (“Ten thousand yuan”).
A Chinese kid telling me about her turtle:
“His Chinese and English names aren’t really the same. His English name is ‘Chanel’.”
“And his Chinese name?”
“王八蛋 (Bastard)!”
“Who thought of those names?”
“Me!”
Friend: “Long time ago I had a friend with a lot of beer that was about to expire, like a truck full, and another friend who worked in a KTV — so I helped sell the bottles. Like 0.5 RMB per bottle. Yeah, it had two months left on the label, but who’s going to see that in a KTV with a pretty girl opening the bottles for you. I bought my first car with that money and both my parents an iPhone.”
Friend: “I used to work at a store called JeansWest (真维斯) in Nanjing. I didn’t get any hourly pay, just a percentage of the clothes sold. So customers would ask: “Does this look good?”, I’d always reply “Yeah amazing!” But I always felt the clothes we sold were ugly.
During the summer holiday, a kid from a rich family in Shanghai has a private teacher and really likes her: “Dad, can she stay for dinner?”, “Dad, can she live here?”, “Dad, can I go to her place?” Each time after class, he grabs her hand and doesn’t want her to go.
Initially, all this seems cute, but then his grandmother tells her the kid’s dad often slaps him, afterward going downstairs to the pharmacy to get cream to ease the bruises: “I always tell him, don’t hit your child. His father also hit him, and now it passes on to the next generation. It is no good.”
The summer holiday is now almost over, and I feel so sorry for that little boy doing homework among the skyscrapers of Lujiazui.
Random guy in a busy area in Suzhou:
“Hey I can show you a parking lot, look, here.”
Me leaning out of the car window:
“But this says max 20 minutes, it’s not even your parking lot is it, this belongs to a bank.”
Him:
“Oh you just park, give me 10 RMB.”
Friend’s husband failed to get his driving license in Suzhou, so he went back to his hometown and gave the examinator 5000 RMB and a pack of cigarettes to pass, but he still cannot drive: “You know, the poorer a place you go, the easier it is to bribe people. An examinator in Shanghai or Suzhou wouldn’t dare take that money, afraid of being caught. But now he still cannot drive, he damaged both doors, I don’t even make enough money to repair that stuff.” She’s laughing but then becomes serious: “Every time he goes out driving, I do worry.”
