This series is called ‘Secret Listening’, from the Chinese word 偷听Tōutīng. I know this can be — and should probably be — translated as ‘eavesdropping’, but secret listening captures it better and adds a bit of jest. These little stories or remarks stood out to me, and show a more personal side of China away from the news. I have sometimes changed names or used the anonymous moniker ‘friend’.
Read all parts in this series here.
“My mom can retire but she works a bit more, to save money for my wedding and baby. Although I don’t even have a boyfriend yet.”
“I did my bachelor’s and then they said you need to do master, earn more money. But then I finished my master’s degree and now so many people also have their master’s.”
“I hope I get this job at this school. My salary will be lower but my ‘black salary’ will be higher. These parents of the kids have so much money.”
“I was almost not there. There was the one-child policy and my parents already had my sister. And when my mom’s belly was visibly showing pregnancy, birth-planning workers came to her work and our house. Every day. Every day they told my mother to have the baby removed, or pay a huge fine. In the end, my parents gave in and went to the hospital for an abortion. In the waiting room, they spoke to a guy about it, who asked them how much money they had or what they owned. “Not much”, my dad said, to which the guy laughed: “Then what do you worry about? Just pay the fine with whatever you have and then have that baby.” My parents went home and decided on that. They paid a fine of 1200 RMB, which was a lot of money at the time. All their savings. The birth-planning workers also took away furniture from my parents’ home, and my mother couldn’t work as an accountant anymore, so later she followed my dad, who worked in construction sites in the country. But they had me. Later, they tried to find the guy who convinced them to keep me, but they couldn’t find him.”
Primary school student: “During 心理学课 (sort of psychology class) there was a free moment where everyone could mention their inner-heart thoughts. “You can say anything you want” said the teacher, and then I said I don’t like it when the teacher doesn’t finish the class in time for lunch break, and had to report to the headmaster for that.”
Overheard someone tell this with absolute flair:
“OMG you wipe the table every day? You’re so worried about germs? (洁癖!) I don’t even clean that rigorously at home, I don’t own the house anyway, my kitchen shelves probably have a few kilos of dust on them.” (几斤灰尘)
Eva: “娃哈哈 (a classic sweet milk drink) reminds me of my childhood, we didn’t have a supermarket then, it was very expensive! We bought candies from each pot, just one! So the owner had to weigh each candy individually. But I think he allowed it because we were kids. “
“We went to a temple outside Shanghai. A monk gave us some incense sticks to burn, and later asked me to make a donation. I had no idea how much I should give, so I said 100 RMB? He asked me to double it, so I gave him 200 RMB. Then he took my friend aside: “Let me say a few words to him alone”. When we left the temple, he said he wanted to give 500 RMB, but the monk had asked him to double it, so he had given 1000 RMB! So we paid 1200 RMB for some incense sticks. We’ve been scammed. Is it a scam? We had no idea how much to give.”
“My friend works in a prison. Inmates usually need their families to pay for their meals, like a monthly payment of like 500 to 800 RMB. Some bad prison staff will charge families a bit extra and keep 100 RMB for themselves. What if families don’t pay? They just contact the families and say they must pay. Whatever you do, don’t go to prison here.”
“When my dad was young, everyone was so hungry. This is the early 60s. They had some rice but didn’t dare to cook it. If there was smoke from the chimney, everyone would come to your house and beg for food. So they ate it raw.”
“We went to my hometown for my aunt’s birthday, she’s super-rich. I brought her a gift, some make-up, then I saw all the other presents she had already received, Chanel, Dior, etcetera. All those brands. So I thought, forget about it. It’s better not to give anything.”
“My boss has been sending me to a lot of training sessions. Each school has to send somebody, they somehow pick me. So it’s either that she values me, or she thinks those training sessions are useless. She wants to discuss something next week, I’m not sure if I’m getting promoted or fired.”
Colleague: “What’s the worst thing about living in China?”
Me: “Seeing my family only once or twice a year.”
Her, slightly embarrassed: “Ehhhh, my parents live two hours away by train. And I see them twice a year.”
Friend in Shanghai: “I used to drive a scooter to work each day, I’d never be late. Now I drive a car and I’m late every day. And I even leave earlier!”
Friend: “Today I bought a live fish. Back home, cut it open, gutted it, then put it into the pan. It jumped out! I put it back, put the lid on, and put the fire high. When I took a look, it jumped out again!”
Taitai: “When my grandmother was still alive, I took her to the first Transformers movie (2007). It was her first time in the cinema. She was so afraid of the screen, and the sounds that she wanted to go outside. I said “It’s just fake, try it, you’ll get used to it. She was not afraid of killing ducks or chickens or fish, but she was afraid of that.”
Female friend: “On my first job, my boss took me on a business trip. Then he awkwardly said the hotel only had one room available, so we had to sleep in the same bed. I just believed it. But when he tried to lay his hands on me, I refused. Nothing happened that night. But I was so naive back then.”
13-year-old: “Our new 道法课 (morality and ethics class) teacher is from the 00s generation (00后), like almost our age, so we can talk a lot. Sometimes the class next door wonders why we laugh so loudly. She even knows 蛋仔派对!”
Friend of Charlie: “Charlie, I like you.”
Charlie: “I know. I also like myself.”
Friend: “My parents go out to play cards every morning, and then again in the evening. They come home at 22:30, they’re so loud! They never listen. They gamble with a tiny bit of money. I told them to stop, or I’m going to call the police on their gambling nest.”
